This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Great Idea from SouleMama

First & Last

 I may or may not be a little teary just looking at these pictures. 

Don't judge. 

Ella and Drew finished preschool yesterday. It was such an awesome experience for all of us. They were cared for, felt special and made new friends. 

I am in denial. They will not be going to public school next year...the land of mean teachers and meaner kids. No. Nope. 

They will return to preschool next year. And the year after that. And the one after that. 

Look Around

For a variety of insignificant, unimportant reasons, this morning was not our best. 

I need to take a minute to regroup. To settle down, take deep breaths and refocus. To start over. Sometimes all I need to do is look around, to really look, and I can find things that make me happy. A little perspective helps to see past piles of laundry and dirty dishes. Past the eyes still red from crying and the tell tale red mark of a sibling scratch. 

Want to know what I see? 

A boy with a fresh haircut. One that took off the darker hair and left him slightly blonder, and somehow 3 years older. 

Curls, curls, curls still a little wet, nearly stretching down to the waistband of her skirt. 

A boy and a dry paintbrush, pretending to paint a book, his face, and then happily using it to dust the tv cabinet. 

Sun outside drying the puddles. Flip flops on my feet. And I can't see it yet, but a very big Iced Green Tea is in my near future. 

Here is to a fantastic day! 

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Great Idea from SouleMama

As the World Turns

Thanks to all of you who were pulling for my neighbor...keep it up!! He is still in critical condition, but stable and everyone is breathing a little easier today. 

And as one friend is struggling, another is ready to celebrate - because I guess that is how the world works. So, Im switching gears and remembering to savour all the beautiful moments to come. A New York City wedding. My parents in town and hotels...ohh a hotel. Im honored to be a part of my friend's wedding and I can't wait to have a night with my husband. I think weddings are the best date night ever :) 

Colby supervising the seamstress. This dress is TO. DIE. FOR!!! 

Send It

On my rainy front steps I hugged a mom this morning. She went limp in my arms, her head on my shoulder and asked "why?" Through tears and quiet sobs, she whispered that she has a bad feeling now. Not the hopeful one she has felt in the 4 weeks since her oldest son was diagnosed with Leukemia. 

He had a bad night and he isn't doing well and they don't know why. 

Whatever you believe in, whatever strength, energy, or love you have today...please send it to my friend, her son, and their family. 

They need it. 

For Granted

 Most nights when I lay down in bed and the day replays in my head, I wish I had more time with Drew. Just a few uninterrupted minutes to listen to what was on his mind or what he liked at school. You see, the squeaky wheels often get the attention, and Drew is not a squeaky wheel. 

I know that I take for granted the fact that he is always by my side to cross a parking lot or walking in the mall. But I don't talk to him then because Im too busy yelling at the other ones to come closer. I take for granted that he heads up to bed without a fuss, but by the time I settle the others, Drew is sound asleep...another chance to talk lost. 

He does surprise us sometimes. He is so bold when playing with his best friend, ousting Ella as leader and running the show himself. During the Easter Olympics when they lost the Hug Relay, he stepped back from Ella pointed his finger in her face and screamed, "You made me lose!!" We had to physically separate him before he pummeled her into the ground. Oddly enough it was one of my favorite moments of the day. Because although I take his good natured rule following for granted, I love it when he lets loose! 

Monday Monday

 Oh my GOD, I love this baby!! 

It was a full weekend. TBall, breakfast at the Diners, Nature Centers, Street Fairs, Family Dinners, Dentists, Shoe Shopping...my favorite kind of weekend. 

The kind of weekend that makes me look forward to Monday just a little bit. A return to the routine. The kids are almost done with school, just under 2 weeks left. And then the fun really begins. When weekends spill into the week and I run us ragged until a rainy day mercifully comes along just in time for us to spend a day on the couch rejuvenating and resting from the sun. 

But I won't rush it yet. There is still a bit of Spring left. 

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Great Idea from SouleMama

ps. the site is down, but the missing posts from this week should be replaced soon :) 

Overcome

 She stood at the plate last Saturday her body frozen, her tear filled eyes locked on mine, oblivious to the coaches and other parents cheering. "You can do it, Ella!! Just Swing!" I yelled as she stood as still as a statue the only movement the tears that now spilled down her cheeks. She didn't swing. I was surprised because she had been all smiles in the other games, but I wasn't surprised because, well, it was Ella. Finally her Daddy rushed in to save her, just as a Daddy should. He wrapped his strong hands around her miniature ones and they swung the bat together. She ran the bases like a pro.

 We talked through the fence. She was committed to playing and wanted to try again. The next inning she got up to bat and we all played out the agonizing scene again. As she came across home plate I scooped her up and we sat on the grass. My heart in my throat I gave her the out. "You don't have to play" I said. "But I love Tball!" she answered back choking on tears still lodged in her throat. Luckily the game was over before we finished our conversation. As happy as I was that it was over, I knew leaving that day without getting back on the horse was a mistake.  My little girl with the big feelings would torture herself with the memories of this day, building up her fear every night as she laid in bed.

 We talked it out that night until we figured out the source of the problem, but we both knew it didn't matter anymore. The new experience of failing at bat, of standing there crying while parents cheered and yelled was worse.

So I made a plan. We would practice. We would learn affirmations. We would remember all the positive at bats she had. We would bribe with lemonade and ice cream. My girl could do this, I knew she could and she convinced me she wanted to play.

It worked. Our practice and plans and bribes, combined with a patient calming coach was just what she needed.  She stepped up to bat, her eyes locked on mine, tears brimming ready to fall. Then she swung, hit, and ran smiling to first base. I turned to the mom next to me, tears in my eyes and said, "I can't take this, and it's only tball!" She looked back and took off her sunglasses, tears streaming down her face, "me either."

Finding Spring

 At the beach on a windy day

 In woods that are just beginning to green (where I look like a Sherpa)

And our picnic table outside for lunch. 

Spring is by far one of the best seasons, a clear breath of fresh air after a stuffy winter indoors. Where every turn yields a new flower and your skin soaks up vitamin D like it is its job. 

Of course a new season brings a new list of to do's...

Certainly more of the above: beach before it gets crowded, the woods as they change everyday, and eating outside more and more. 

Also, trips to the city, the zoo (maybe the Bronx), Tball and more Tball, and planting a few crops :)

Bring it Spring...We are ready!!!

Mother's Day Recap

This song was by far the best part of my Mother's Day. 

 The afternoon was spent at family's house. Their backyard is perfect for playing, and play they did. 

 The food was so good you wanted to lick your plate...and some of us did.

 There was even a Mother's Day play! 

 And we played our First Annual Baseball game. There are enough cousins to have two teams. 

Even though I missed my own mother and my two grandmothers, I loved Mother's Day. Being with my kids all day and seeing them have so much fun was awesome. 

Beautiful weather didn't hurt :)

Happy Mother's Day

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Great Idea from SouleMama

ps. Have a very Happy Mother's Day weekend :) I may have a surprise post on Sunday

Who is this Guy?

Before babies can crawl they play with whatever toy you place in front of them and sit wherever you plop them. Eventually they figure out how to propel their little bodies across the room by scooting their bums, sliding their bellies army style, or the traditional crawl. No matter how they get there, you find that you are now following them and discovering along the way what they like, who they are.

It has been awhile since Drew learned to crawl, but Im still learning about him (and the others).  He is still a little quieter, a little more reserved, but the last few weeks Im seeing something different.

He is taller. His long lanky shape hasn't changed, just a little longer. Seemingly overnight his shirts don't reach his pants and his pants don't reach his shoes. His head has passed my elbow and I started imagining that one day Ill look up at him instead of the other way around.

He is bolder. He has a new confidence with a strut to match. A strut that carries him across fields and parks away from my leg where he would normally reside. He is tougher with his siblings and more adventurous with his endeavors. Watching him with his friend I am pleasantly surprised when Drew takes the lead.

We had a feeling that sports would draw Drew out of his shell. T-Ball is his new love and watching him in action on the field is more fun than I imagined.

I love this kid and I love tagging along for the ride - wherever he goes.

Kap-arazzi

I handed my camera off to Kappy (my cousin's husband) to capture some Christening shots. He gladly accepted the task in fact I almost had to pry my camera out of his hands at the end of the ceremony! The Kap-arazzi (his new nickname) caught some great moments...here are just a few...

One benefit of handing your camera over? Im IN pictures :) 

 and Mike and I are IN pictures together :)

 I love this shot Kap-arazzi caught of his wife. I find it romantic. Like he couldn't wait for her to walk near him and started shooting before taking the time to focus. 

 Precious. Notice how Tyler is covering his ears? He predicted that Colby would cry when the water was poured on his head. He was right. But I think he was crying because he wanted to sit in the water and splash. 

Love Katie's expression in this one. Only a Godmother would feel so bad for her little charge. Notice how the rest of us are laughing at the poor baby? Not Katie...I think this is a sign that we chose well. 

Thanks Kaparazzi!! 

Baby's Day

No, he isn't making pizzas..it was Colby's Christening day this past weekend. 

He looked adorable, as always - although the hat didn't quite fit. 

Family from Massachusetts and from Jersey gathered together to celebrate this little guy. 

This is only the 4th time all of our family has been together and I forgot how wonderful it is. 

Ill share more in the next few days....

ps. Here is Drew in the same outfit...

What I told Myself this Morning

Pictures, just because I like them...

 Nana 94 yrs old

 My boys and my brother's boy 

My husband

Here's the thing.

There is a lot going on in the world. There is big news, bigger news, and not so big news. It doesn't stop because someone is in the Pediatric NICU or someone is suffering from Chemo. The rest of the world is running out for coffee and going out to lunch while you have a baby or say a last goodbye. Just when you think the entire world should stop and take notice, you realize they don't. It is bigger than you, bigger than the ones you care about.

Kids need to be fed, diapers changed and laundry sorted. You might as well head to the gym and run a few errands. Even though everything normal seems abnormal and you just want to sit and put your head in your hands. You realize you just laughed at a joke or smiled at a clerk and it seems weird. But you can't stop. You shouldn't stop. Stopping wouldn't help anyone.

So instead of stopping, make the going count. Make the diaper changes a little happier, notice the new flower in the garden, compliment a stranger on their shoes. Gain perspective and keep it. And give whatever you can to make their world better, easier, happier.

What else can you do?