On Being a Mom

I know I've been pregnant a few times, given birth, changed lots of diapers, dried tears, and fixed lots of meals. I've even done thousands of loads of laundry, volunteered at school and braided hair. 

But most times I don't feel like a mom. I feel like me. I feel like me at 16 when I needed my parents but thought I didn't. I feel like me at 19 when I fell in love with my husband. I feel like me at 25, a social worker wanting to help kids. I rarely feel 33, a mom with 4 kids. Sometimes I am shocked by my wrinkles and changing skin in the mirror. Denial? Maybe. 

But there are moments here and there when suddenly I feel like a mom. Some are predictable like holding their hands while they get a shot or licking my fingers to wipe a mess of their face. But others are unexpected and suddenly flood me with an overwhelming sense of pride and love. 

The weirdest "aha" moment was walking through the mall at Christmas time with 4 whining miserable kids. 

The best has been skiing with my two biggest littlest kids. 

And a favorite is when my baby nuzzles into my neck in absolute contentment. 

Winter Mornings

We move slower on winter mornings. We take a little longer getting out of our pjs. The kids usually have 2 breakfasts before they get dressed. Toys are scattered here and there while cups of hot tea are cradled and sipped. 

 Drew fashions a Batman tool belt to fight crime.

 Ella has a turn making Colby smile and jump. With a little baby talk of course, "Are you a silly baby? No. No." That is her favorite line repeated 100's of times a day.

 Bed head is surely a sign that he slept well and perhaps that he needs a haircut. Regardless, looking at those messy tresses makes me smile all morning.

And tiny dancing bear feet. Why we would we rush?

Frick & Frack make a Match

She has just one Daddy, he has just one little girl. And it is as if with every step, every little conversation, every hug - they know it. She basks in his attention. He gets wrapped tighter and tighter around her finger and loves it.

He is a little quiet, she a little crazy, but she brings out the silly in him, like no one else can. It is something to watch, this mismatched pair who are so obviously meant for each other.