My Girl at 7

Every year in December I smile when I hear Mariah Carey sing "All I Want for Christmas." I think of sitting in a NICU 7 years ago holding a tiny bundle named Ella. I sang this song softly in your ear because all I wanted for Christmas was you home, away from IVs, monitors and tests. I got my Christmas wish that year. 

But this year is a little different. I can't listen to the song without tearing up. Maybe Im a little more emotional this Holiday. But I think it is because it suddenly hit me that there was a chance you wouldn't have made it to 7. There was a blood transfusion and talks of internal bleeding. Cat scans of your brain and a follow up blood draw every month at a Hematologist. And now it is hitting me, because now I know how utterly awesome you are...back then I didn't even have a clue about the little girl you would become. 

What would I do without you? You wear your heart on your sleeve, my love. When it is time to leave your cousins, you cry heart wrenching, body shaking sobs. Your feelings are amazingly intense - sometimes so much so that I worry. But most of the time, you are simply a spitfire. You are quick with comments and jokes. You pick up on everything that is going on and usually have an opinion. You call me out in my own moments of weakness and challenge me in ways I didn't know possible. And I love you for it all.

You love all things animals, especially dogs. I love to watch your tiny body do gymnastics. And you are fiercely competitive on the soccer field. You are the best big sister Colby could ask for. You tell him stories at night and love him with unconditional acceptance. You hate to be late and organize your gear well in advance. You love to collect and hoard little baubles and trinkets - even Daddy's wedding ring! You could sit at the counter and do school work or draw or write all day.

You are awesome and you are mine and I am so grateful.

I love you Bella Boo. xo Mom