Friday, June 11, 2010

Dear Kidney Stone,

Dear Kidney Stone and Stent,
This picture of Ella is how I feel when I think about you. You have brought nothing but pain and heartache since you started moving 9 weeks ago. Yes, 9 long weeks - Im keeping track. Ridiculous that something as tiny as you can make such a huge impact...but wait haven't I learned that lesson already? Yes, I believe 3 teeny babies schooled me on that theory.

Speaking of lessons, I suppose I need to thank you, or at least acknowledge you, for opening my eyes to a few other things over the last few weeks.

1) My independence is not that important. Sometimes it is nice to rely on others, to hand over the reins, and to be taken care of.

2) My kids are way more independent than I thought. And in the last few weeks they have become even more so. This new found "I can do it" attitude has been awesome to watch and their big smiles and bursting pride is worth a little pain. And just maybe my rushing to help and impatience to just get it done in the past, has been a little bit stifling...maybe.

3) My husband is awesome and capable and strong and caring and if there was ever a moment I doubted any of that, these last few weeks there have been a bazillion examples.

I think this list could go on and on, but thanks to you Mr. Stone, I need to go pee again. Although I am grateful to have learned some life lessons, I would like you to get out now. NOW! This Monday, I would like you to cooperate with the surgeon and exit my body. Leave everything else intact and don't even think of messing with this kicking baby boy. I would like to return home to my family my old self, with just a little added wisdom.

Good Riddens -


Nonnie said...

My heart breaks for you.. . only one thing I can say .. . MOMMA IS ON HER WAY! On the train Sunday night and staying forever! Hang in there my baby girl. I love you all so very much.

Kristina Begovich said...

Your words ring so true! I could have written this myself and titled it "Dear Heart Aneurysm". It's amazing what lessons we can learn when a health issue takes us down. I never felt closer to my husband, family, and friends as when I was recovering from surgery and couldn't do everything myself. While it was the toughest time in my life, it really brought be closer to my husband and parents. It's good that you can see the silver lining. Hang in there.