Thursday, August 5, 2010

Diapers and Guilt

This was Tyler last year, "just tretrending." I love the way they mispronounce words. Anyway, I got to thinking yesterday that I haven't changed a diaper in 2 weeks. After changing diapers every day for 4 1/2 years, that seems significant. Until I remind myself that I have another 2 1/2 years that will start soon...oh well. By the by, Tyler is doing fantastic. My little independent boy.

So, yesterday some fellow moms and I got to talking about Mommy Guilt. How you always wonder if you are doing enough or if you are doing too much. If you are raising good kids. For me it hits the hardest when I lay down on my pillow at night. I replay all the scenes of the day where I was called upon to discipline, make a call, protect, encourage, or even just listen. I wonder if I gave them what they needed. If I missed any opportunities to teach, love, or empower. In the dark of my room I focus on all I did wrong, on all I missed and I silently berate myself for failing my kids. I know that I can do better.

When the sun is up, my rational mind returns. I know that I can do better - can't we all? But I also know that Im not 1/2 bad. That my kids are awesome and Im a little bit responsible for that. I remind myself that Ella needs some extra positive attention, that Drew needs a chance to talk, and that Tyler needs a spanking. Kidding...But today is a new day, an awesome day to spend with my awesome kids. Where the only objective is to love them.

How can that be wrong?

No comments: