Tuesday, July 1, 2008


The first night Drew came home we couldn't put together our cool co-sleeper. Mike ended up dragging our mattress onto the floor so we could sleep next to Drew, who was swaddled on a changing pad. I couldn't bear to not be able to see his face. I set the alarm every three hours, although I was always awake when it went off. Ella was miles away in an incubator. All night I could picture her there with her IVs and monitors beeping wondering if the nurses were holding her or if she was lonely. By the time Ella came home we had a new co-sleeper and it was pure relief, joy, and overwhelming love to see them lying side by side. From the first night it didn't matter how far apart I put them, by the time I went to feed them they were always touching. The next step was moving them to their own room in the same crib. I hated them not being next to me, but I felt a sense of comfort since they had each other. They always ended up touching and it was the cutest thing. When I finally had to move them at 5 1/2 months, I was tortured. I felt horrible splitting them up and I agonized over it for weeks. But, I had to, they were all over each other and disturbing their sleep. After all my anguish, they didn't seem to mind the split.
Now they are in the same room in "big kid beds." It is so crazy to see them in these big beds with blankets. They look so tiny in their little pj's as we turn off the light. My favorite part about them being in beds is being able to snuggle with them as we say goodnight. As we bend down to kiss Ella she wraps those tiny arms around our necks and says "hug." I think in their own way they support each other through these transitions. They have never asked to go back to a crib, been frightened, or tried to get out of their beds. It is truly awesome to watch their little twin bond.

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