Nap Time

"Im not going to SLEEP!! Just a rest, mommy!"
No matter what you call it, there is at least an hour and a half, but often more, when all 3 are tucked in tight. The house is peaceful and oh so blissfully quiet - in a good way, not the I have my hands in the toilet, or we are tearing up a photo album in the corner quiet. I usually spend the time here, at the table on the computer. I read and I write and I feel guilty about all the things I should be doing. Folding laundry. Scrubbing toilets. Organizing a closet. I keep telling myself I will get to that list after a cup of tea or one more blog post. But it feels so good to just sit.
Ella has probably outgrown the nap. She does fall asleep each day, but then she is awake until after 10, laying in her bed telling her dogs stories. I've known this for months and we have struggled with bedtime, but I just can't let go of nap. Im worried that without this time to replenish my sanity, my head may really explode some day. Im hoping that the transition will be smooth and Ill wonder why I didn't stop it sooner (did I mention the quiet?). I picture the big kids and I playing play doh, cooking together and laughing over board games while Tyler is sleeping. They would love that time to do all the "big kid" stuff. Or maybe Ill just let Ella off the hook and she and I can have girly time. I can get to know her and she can get to know herself, without the boys around. She could experience quiet for the first time in her life. I wonder if she would enjoy daydreaming out the window with a warm cup of tea?
I expect to hear the wails of Tyler and Drew's piercing "I WANT TO GET UP!!" any minute now.

One more sip. One more breath.